TWITA #3

Seriously.

I don't care who you are, you can find a way to help other people.  This man is compassion, embodied in human form.  If you know the caste system in India at all, you realize how powerful his actions are.

http://wimp.com/wecould/

D

#6 - Humbled.

I'm trying to do good things without trumpeting my accomplishments.

I could provide you with a list of how I try to make a difference in the world, but it really doesn't matter.

Why?

Because no matter what I do, someone else does more.

It really isn't a competition, instead, it is a wonderful lesson for me to learn (over, and over, and over again, apparently).

Here are a couple recent examples that should clarify where I'm coming from:

1.  My kids are in a Christian singing group that has an annual retreat around the end of October.  All day Saturday rehearsals, fun time on Sat. night, sleepover, and then all day Sunday rehearsals topped off by a performance for the parents.

I play bass in the band, and my wife is the coordinator for the group, so we're committed to the weekend.  However, there are many other parents who sacrifice their personal time to help out and chaperone.  One such individual helped provide me with some perspective at this last retreat.

Everything was going great for me during the weekend, right up until an hour before the performance.  We had just eaten a potluck lunch, and all of a sudden, I wasn't feeling so hot.  I struggled mightily throughout the performance, but was able to make it all the way through without bailing.

Feeling pretty good about myself for putting the group ahead of my nausea, I read Facebook the next day to find that not only did the aforementioned individual sleep in the boys' cabin as a chaperone (a prescription for little sleep), he went into work on Sunday night and worked third shift.

All day Saturday running sound, up late Saturday night, all day Sunday running sound, followed by a full shift in a factory on Sunday night.

Makes my little battle seem pretty insignificant, right?

Wait, it gets better.

2.  Where I work, we have meetings.  Lots of them.

One of my colleagues seems to perpetually struggle with the concept of maintaining consciousness in the meeting context.  No matter where we meet, there's a good chance he's going to doze a little at some point.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I might have made some comments of a mocking or humorous nature regarding this situation.  As it turns out, he has a pretty good reason for being a bit sleepy during the day.

He volunteers at a men's homeless shelter downtown.

Since someone needs to be on duty overnight, that responsibility falls to him when no one else can be found.

So, there are days where he will work during the day, go home for a few hours, and then stay awake all night at the shelter to supervise.

I'm thinking that if that were me, I might be a bit sleepy in meetings as well.

Again, I don't think that living a good life is a competition against others; instead, I think that we can all do good without boasting, and just be an inspiration by example to others.  I can tell you that both of these men have inspired me to step it up a bit, especially regarding the concept of sacrifice.

Who challenges you to do the same?

TWITA #2

The second installment in the "That's what I'm talking about" series is focused on a friend of mine who is truly inspirational.  Actually, both he and his wife inspire me to be a better person, and to appreciate all of the varied blessings (and challenges) I face daily.

Let me go back to the beginning.

I met Joel and Sheryl in church, a number of years ago.  As a musician, I quickly plugged into the choir, where Joel was instrumental (pun intended) in making the group shine.  He sang tenor (wonderful sense of pitch) and also accompanied the choir on piano at various points.  He had an incredible ability to improvise for the offertory and communion, and I truly enjoyed what he presented musically.

Unfortunately, in 2002, Joel was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.  I'll let Sheryl tell this part of the story:

In October of 2002, Joel was diagnosed with a malignant, inoperable brain tumor on the left side of his brain near the motor control and speech areas of his brain, and given 9-12 months to live. Shortly after the biopsy, he developed a staph infection at the surgery site. The infection put him back in the hospital (an hour away from our house) for a month and resulted in three more brain surgeries, the final one also resulting in the removal of a portion of his cranium. We nearly lost him several times.

Since then, he has had blood clots in both legs, siezures, radiation, several rounds of chemo, pneumonia, shingles, more chemo, and in 2007, a horrible fall. The seizures left his right side very weak and rendered his right arm and hand useless; he resembles a stroke victim. 

When he fell, he hit his head on a cement floor and was life-flighted to the hospital with substantial bleeding in his brain. We nearly lost him again. We were told that he would probably never walk again, and that his abilities would be severely diminished. He spent a month in the hospital and inpatient rehab units. He walked out of that unit using a cane.

Through all of this, Joel has assured me that everything would be okay. Today, he can barely speak, but he communicates very well. When asked how he is, his answer is always a smile and, "I'm fine". He has accompanied both of our sons on the piano, using only his left hand. If I hadn't been watching, I never would have guessed he was using one hand. He is the one who points out the rainbows when all the rest of us can see is the rain.

I witnessed Joel's physical decline first hand.  I saw him go from an incredibly gifted musician who had some tingling in his hand, to an individual who (as Sheryl puts it) resembles a severe stroke victim.

I was really sad.  Sad, and angry.  I couldn't understand how a wonderful person like this could be stricken in this way.

What Sheryl doesn't say in her Facebook note above, is that after his diagnosis and he began to have difficulty with motor coordination and speech, he volunteered his time at the elementary school down the road (literally) from his house.  He continued volunteering until his serious fall in 2007, proving to me that when life is challenging, the strong rise to the challenge.

The thing is, Sheryl is just as inspiring to me.  She would say (and has, trust me) that you just have to do what is necessary to continue on.  I get that, and I know that if faced with a similar situation, I would do whatever is necessary to make things work for my family.

However, she has not let any of this seeming tragedy affect her contribution to the community of which she is part.  She helps out with the marching band (after planting Joel in a seat in the stands), she is active (an officer, no less) in the music boosters, and can always be found when something needs to be done.

I have heard others, in similar situations, express anger at God for allowing this to happen.

Not Joel and Sheryl.  They realize that every day is a gift, so why waste time being angry all the time.

Thank you Joel and Sheryl for being an inspiration to me!

That's What I'm Talking About (TWITA) #1

In addition to my own rants and raves, I would like to occasionally present stories of people who are actually doing something to make the world a better place.

I have a whole series I need to share with you, including a surprise volunteer and a twice-inspiring friend, but I would like to start with a story of a family that I absolutely love.

This is the story of a mom (home business, home schooler, great wit), a dad (an officer in the military and an all around great guy - seriously, if you don't like him after meeting him, I probably don't want to hang out with you), and three kids.

This family decided to take the words of Jesus seriously; they've adopted a young man from halfway around the globe.

Go here and read, and then come back for follow up thoughts.

I'll wait.





Good?

Did you get the part at the end, where we were asked as readers what we thought our impact would be if the "body of Christ functioned as it was intended" to function?

Missy also talks about how not everyone needs to adopt a child, however, we can all play a role.

That's what I'm talking about.

If all of us picked up the rope and pulled, we could move the world.  It takes SO much to do what these people have done (money, time, patience, understanding, compassion, love, support, etc.), and organizations such as the one described in the post are wonderful vehicle for organizing efforts to help.

Find your path to helping others.

#5 - Intellectual Elites?

Having been on a number of search committees, as well as having actually hired people, I am a firm believer in bringing in the best person for the job. Part of this process is matching the skills, talents, and knowledge of the individuals applying with the position available.

This is a good thing, right?

When interviewing surgical residents, Hospitals want to insure that not only do the prospective surgeons have the necessary education and training, but they also have extensive experience in order to be successful in the operating room at the hospital.

How about CEO of a large company? Having an MBA and expert knowledge of business processes and systems help keep companies streamlined and profitable for their investors.

Similarly, we expect that the teachers that work with our children have a high quality education and experience with different teaching techniques that will allow them to connect with all the children that they teach, moving them forward academically.

What do these groups (and many, many more) have in common?

They are all elite in some way.

But what does elite really mean?

From Merriam-Webster.com:

Definition of ELITE

1 a singular or plural in construction : the choice part : cream
b singular or plural in construction : the best of a class
c singular or plural in construction : the socially superior part of society
d : a group of persons who by virtue of position or education exercise much power or influence
e : a member of such an elite —usually used in plural 

For our purposes here, d is the definition that addresses the issue under discussion (although, I'll get to e as well).

Many people strive for YEARS to become elite in their craft.  When kids are playing football in the backyard, do they dream about riding the bench, or being the star quarterback?  When one of those same kids shows promise, what do we do?  We throw resources and opportunities at that child (hopefully) and they continue on the path to developing into a superstar, because on Sunday afternoons, you want to see the best pitted against the best, right?

These examples (plus many more I could quickly conjure up: the master luthier, the phenomenal chef, the technological whiz kid, etc.) speak to the fact that, as a nation, we admire those who excel in their field.

Except in one area.

Politics.

There is a current trend (although, it has certainly come up before) against intellectuals in politics that I simply cannot wrap my head around.

Again, I refer you back to the beginning of this post where I discussed hiring the best person for the job.  Shouldn't we want to have smart people running this country?  That seems too much like common sense to me, so I'm sure I'm missing something along the way.

Before I go any further, I want to assure you that I am not advocating for some intellectual elitist oligarchy or anything like that -  I simply want to KNOW that my elected official is cognitively equipped to handle the challenges inherent in running a country of this size.

Why my concern?

Primarily, I'm hearing phrases like "the intellectual elite" or "so-called experts" from one side of the aisle, and, as an academician, I find it troubling.  Trust me, I don't know everything there is to know about everything, but I do know some things.  If Congress were to convene a task force focused on increasing the social presence of online faculty, I feel that I could speak to that issue with some authority.

It is easy to be folksy and speak in generalities when running for office, isn't it?  Do you want to elect a president that would be "fun to have a beer with" or do you want to hire someone who will be the most effective in governing the nation?

Speaking of language, do you hear a lot of specifics from either side during a campaign?

Nope.

You hear "cut spending" but not what to cut.  

Don't you want the people who represent your legislative (and executive) interests to be open and honest with you about the way your government works?  A phrase that is often used in my house is "tough choices" - referring to the decisions that must be made to stick to the budget or get rid of clutter, generally.

Now, some readers may think that I'm saying you have to have advanced degrees to run for office in this country - that's not what I'm saying at all.

I'm simply stating that running for office on a platform of bashing those who DO have the curiosity to keep growing intellectually is not productive in creating a better country than we have today.

#4 Society's Priorities

Although I'm going to discuss a little politics here, don't freak out, ok?

I'm not going to cram anything down your throat, shout you down, call you stupid for believing something, or use any other tactic favored by the political punditocracy these days.

Instead, I want to touch on the concept of societal priorities, and you can't get there without running through politics first.

Wait, what?  Societal priorities?  What in the world does that mean?

Essentially, I mean that we (as a society) decide what is important to us, and we fund it accordingly.

Although you may be scratching your head, trying to remember when you participated in any priority decision-making, trust me, you have.

Voted in a congressional or senate race lately?  State representatives?  Mayoral race?  County commissioners?

You have?  Well, you've helped set priorities for society then.

Oh, I'm sorry, I must have misheard.  You don't vote, because all the politicians are crooks, don't represent you, and are only in it for the money and power.

You still helped set the priorities.

How?

Let's take the first case first.  When you vote for a particular politician, you are in essence giving your vote of approval for their legislative agenda.  However, due to our two party system of politics, many people feel compelled to vote for a candidate strictly on party affiliation, instead of carefully parsing out the platform that this candidate offers.

In the second case, when you don't vote, your abstention provides an additional vote to those whose opinions and viewpoints differ from yours, thereby strengthening their position.

In both cases, this has eventually led to career politicians who are far more interested in getting elected than they are in legislating.

Do you hear any specifics in political rhetoric these days, or are the speeches filled with platitudes (that sound good, but mean little)?

It's easy to say "Cut taxes!" "Reduce Spending!" "Reform (insert agency here)!" but how, exactly?

If you cut taxes (the revenue stream for government at all levels), you have to then decide what you will no longer fund.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of paying taxes.  However, I do like to drive my car on an interstate freeway.  I also like having the peace of mind knowing that in an emergency, there are people I can call to come to my aid (i.e., law enforcement, fire departments, the military).

Right or left, progressive or conservative, or somewhere in between. We ALL make up this society, and therefore, should find a way to voice our thoughts on this issue (I have ideas on how to remold democracy, but that is for another post).

This all leads to this question: what are the priorities for our society?

If we were to determine this based on our current spending as a federal government, our top 5 priorities would be the Department of Health and Human Services (Medicare and Medicaid, primarily) at 498.6 billion dollars, Social Security Administration (367.6 billion), Department of Homeland Security (243.4 billion), Department of Defense (240.8 billion), followed at a distance by Education at 73.7 billion dollars (source).

Even if we kept our priorities in line with our spending, would we have to fund all of these agencies at their current levels?

These are difficult questions to answer, and so our politicians choose not to, instead, foisting the fixes on the next generation.  Unfortunately, Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security will run into some trouble in the not too distant future, unless some significant changes are made.

Similarly, I don't think that anyone in this country feels that either the Department of Homeland Security nor the military should be disbanded, but is it possible that some of the funding given to those groups could be repurposed for other groups?  One side would argue that we need to keep spending and building our military forces, while the other side might point out that our military dwarfs the next several nations' militaries combined.  According to some reports, the US accounts for 43% of military spending worldwide, with China in second place with around 6.8% (source)

I'm not here to bash the military, or medicare, or social security.  I'm just saying that we need to decide what is important to the United States of America, and then we have to suck it up and fund it.

Is education truly important?  How about health care for all citizens?  Why do we tie health care to employment?  As one of the wealthiest nations, isn't it a bit of an embarrassment that people lose their homes because of health issues?

I've only touched on a few areas where we spend money as a society; the challenge is trying to get the nation to determine what are the priorities. However, I believe that if we were able to, we could cut both the size of government, as well as deficit spending (we would just need the private sector to create a few jobs to help those individuals who relied upon the government for employment).

You may not be the nation, but you are a member of it.  What are the priorities you see for our society?

#3 - choice

Do you believe in free will?  The ability to make your own choices and set your own path?

I do.  I believe that we are each in control of our own destiny.

Think about this: everyday, we are faced with countless choices, many of which we make without even thinking about them (what's for breakfast, the route to work, etc.).  We're also faced with many choices that do rise to the level of actual decision-making (what to wear, what to do about that project at work that is behind schedule, how to interact with other people).

Wait a minute.

What was that last one again?

We make a conscious choice about how to interact with other people?

Actually, I fear that most of us do not make a conscious choice on this topic.  Instead, we rely solely on our upbringing (i.e., how did my parents/siblings treat other people) and cues from the mob surrounding us.  In many ways, we revert to some ancestral (and I mean seriously old, think: animal) mode of interaction when we encounter someone outside of our immediate family or known circle.

In other words, we often respond to new interactions with fear, or fight, or even just a general wariness.  I don't care who you are, how world-travelled you may be, I'm sure you've encountered a situation where you were out of your comfort zone in relation to the people surrounding you.

But how did you react?

Enough pop psych, let's get to the point here.  While I may start by discussing how schoolchildren interact, don't think you adults are off the hook here.

Think back to when you were in elementary school (farther back for some of us than others, I'm sure).  In my mind preschool and early elementary are the prime times for developing social interaction skills.  Will you play with me at recess?  Can I have some of your Legos?

We try to find ways to connect with others, to find our ways into groups that share similarities in some way.  This leads naturally to late elementary/middle school, where the goal is to NOT STICK OUT.  You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you?  The different among us are mocked mercilessly in middle school.  Too tall, too fat, "ugly" in some way, bad clothes, bad hair, bad smell, not enough money, bad at sports, you get the point.

I'm ashamed and embarrassed to admit that, in my effort to fly below the radar, I've participated in the mocking or refused to stop others, even when I knew it was wrong.  Easy to see (and say) from this side of the experience, I know, but still - I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway.

High school and college continue the training for us as individuals interacting with others in society, where we solidify cliques, attempt (sometimes repeatedly) to reinvent ourselves to escape the past, and begin to understand who we are as individuals that happen to exist within a larger context of human beings.

The question is, who is teaching us?  Who teaches us how to interact with others appropriately?  Our parents, when we are small?  Teachers?  Religious leaders?

All the above, but sadly, we don't appear to have learned the lesson well.

Instead, as adults, we still mock those who are different than us (or our group).  We fear or hate someone because of the color of their skin, because they have different religious beliefs than we do, because their sexuality is different than ours, because some partisan shouting head tells us to, because they are unknown to us.

Again, I submit that these are primal issues for us, holdovers from cave-dwelling days.

We're better than that.

We have the ability to consciously choose how to treat our fellow man on this planet, right?  And we CHOOSE to treat others horribly, KNOWING EXACTLY how it would feel if we were the recipient?  Even though I've done it myself, I simply can't understand how a supposedly superior cognitive species is capable of such low behavior.

If you are a student, be yourself and revel in it.  Find your interests and OWN them! Who cares if you are a band geek, a jock, a preppie?  Who cares if you don't have any money?  You are the only you there is, so own it.

So, when you see someone who doesn't understand the concept of respecting others (i.e., mocking, bullying, whatever), stand up and help educate.

Will you lose friends?  Nope.  I can guarantee that you will never lose a real friend by doing the right thing.  You may lose some finos (friend in name only), which is actually a good thing.  It may not seem like it at the time (especially if you are trying to break into the "popular" crowd) but trust me, you don't want friends that are mean to others - eventually they'll turn on you (any teen movie will teach you that lesson).

Now, even though I just gave some advice to "students" it is really geared towards us all.  We are all students in some way - even if only as students of life.

Animals seek self-preservation above all else.

As humans, we can consciously make the choice to make our society better through the choices we make in our interactions with one another.

#2 - What I can control.

I want to change the world, obviously.  Who doesn't?

However, I have recently come to the understanding that trying to change anyone other than myself is often a foolish venture (at best).

Still doesn't stop me from thinking I can change the world.

Wait.  If I know that the only change I can affect with any certainty is internal, how do I expect to change the world?

Easy.

First, I need to continue to consciously work to be a better human being.

I should probably pause here for a bit of disclosure: I believe in the teachings of Jesus, and I live in the Christian faith tradition.  However, I'm not here to tell you that the only way you can do good in this world is by engaging in the same faith traditions as me.

If the only reason that you are kind to others is because of some fear of a higher power, I think you're doing it wrong.

That might have come out wrong, let me rephrase.

Churches, mosques, synagogues, places of worship in general are wonderful places to gather to engage in fellowship and gain a deeper understanding of the faith traditions.  I love my church family and I love the work that we do there to make the world a slightly better place.  I just don't believe that you have to go to a place of worship to be a better human being.

You just need to work on you.

One more disclaimer, I promise.  Anytime you see the word "you" in any of my postings, you should assume that I am calling myself out.  I don't know the inner workings of your mind; I only know the thoughts and actions I have personally.

OK, so again, how can I change the world if I'm only worried about changing myself?

By spreading the word that we ALL have only to change ourselves, and the world is changed.  Can I control how you think?  Nope.  Do I want to?  Again, nope.  I want to work on myself so that in all actions and interactions I am living up to what I believe to be the gold standard for living: treat others the way you would like to be treated.

That is so easy to write, and yet so hard to do.  I'm accustomed to living in a self-absorbed society, where consumerism is more important than altruism.  We're taught to focus on ourselves, and in some ways, that's ok.  You should take care of your health: mental, physical, and emotional.

However, as any good parent will tell you, there are times when your wants are overshadowed by the needs of others.  When you live in community with others (children, parents, extended family, friends, neighbors, whatever), you can begin to appreciate that there is a world beyond your belly button.  These people around you have similar wants, needs, and feelings.  Do you tune them out, when you hear them calling?

I'm not asking for a scorecard, or a tally sheet, but how often do you consider helping others before you take care of your own wants?  What are the tiny little things that you could do to show love to your fellow human beings, making your corner of the globe a better place?

What do I care if it takes the rest of my life (or beyond) for us to make the next step as a species?  If I (and others, far better than me) can set an example today that influences one person, the machine is set in motion.

Do you know someone who needs to read this?  Feel free to pass it along!

#1 - it had to start somewhere.

I am you.

Well, to be more precise, I am just like you.

Wait, you thought you were unique? That you were the only one just like you?

Nope, we're all perfectly normal people with no cares in the world, living the dream, right?

Oh sure, people come in different colors, but I'm sure that you're not the only one that is the color you are. Similarly with gender, no matter what your physical makeup is, I'll bet that you have a match somewhere in the world. Sexuality? Please!

Of course, we do have differences, that's not the debate here.

We also share a key similarity, one that I think is often overlooked: we are all human beings.

We're not different species, incapable of crossbreeding, like cats and goldfish.

We are all people.

Unfortunately, even though we are all the same in the one key aspect that matters, we frequently allow our myriad differences and diversities to divide us into camps and categories.

I seek to break down the hateful barriers that separate us. We can be different, but still respectful of the differences. We don't need to agree on everything, but we can still respect the right of the other to believe as they so choose.

There is ALWAYS middle ground. Always.

Where can this middle ground be found?

In the fact that we are all human beings, cognitively capable (for the most part) of making choices regarding our behavior and actions towards others.

That is what I would like to tackle here: the choices we face as humans, and how these choices dictate our interactions with each other locally, nationally, and globally.

I would love to use this blog to engage you in dialog on these issues, if you would be so kind (or interested) as to participate?  I'll post thoughts from time to time, and then we can engage in dialog in the comments (that's the goal, at least).

One request (well, a bit stronger than a request, I suppose). Keep it civil. I'm all about exploring various angles and perspectives, but not at the expense of hurtful rhetoric being thrown around.

Sound good?

Ok, let's begin.